Last night, via text, my son notified me that he’d gotten engaged! His new fiancée sent me a photo of her left hand with a beautiful diamond ring on it. I knew they were serious, but still, it caught me off guard. And let’s be honest, how many engagements are announced to their parents via a text message?
I know that somewhere deep in my heart, I am supremely happy for them, as I love my son deeply, and will be gaining a lovely young woman, whom I adore, for a daughter-in-law. But when my eyes welled with tears, I realized they weren’t tears of joy. My heart was aching for my daughter, who is single, alone, and battling cancer.
I’ve been living in a constant state of worry, terror and sadness since she was diagnosed six months ago. A friend of mine once told me that you can only be as happy as your least happy child. I don’t have much capacity to celebrate occasions that normally would bring me happiness, while being in such an uproar over my daughter’s health and future.
To my dearest son, and fiancée – though I love you both, and look forward to much happiness for you throughout your lives, please understand that if I’m not jumping up and down with excitement, its only because my feet are sinking into the ground of sadness and overwhelm at this time. But your sister is determined to be well, and as your grandpa used to say – this, too, shall pass.
Just know, that despite my aching heart, I’m wishing you both all the best that life can offer – today and always.
PS – Do you think that when you set a date for the wedding, you could give me a call?